Curious Little Beavers

I haven't exactly been a brother i promised you i would be 3 years ago.
I've grown up and you've definitely grown up yourself. A whole lot of shit have drifted us apart through out these years.
I guess I've got no one else to blame but myself. I never wanted things to turn like this and i hope you know it.
You've admitted to me that through out this whole year and months of separation that you actually missed me so much but never really did dare to tell me. I kind of find it a little funny how small little events have made this whole relationship of ours so messed up. I miss those times when we could say i love you and i miss you so openly. But i would admit to you too that i really missed you too but i just never wanted to say it to you. I know i haven't been there for you. I knew what was going on in your life but never did ask or tell you a simple "Hey, how are you feeling" or "Hey, cheer up yes?" like i used to. But i just want you to know that though we don't hang out or even talk anymore, if you were to ask me if i still cared for you like i did few years back, i would answer without hesitation that yes i still do. Very much.

If i have ever experienced love before, it would have been with you.

I'm sorry things have to turn out this way.

Pin Your Wings

Hey Amanda
Where'd you find these crazy boys this time?
They say you're pretty but you don't think they're right.

Hey Amanda
While you're staring at your telephone tonight
do you feel like turning it off, turning off all of the lights?

Pin your wings down
if it's over now
Pin your wings down
just take a chance somehow

Hey Amanda
who just threw your heart away this time?
And when you're crying on your bed does he help keep you alive?

Pin your wings down
if it's all over now
Pin your wings down
just take a chance somehow

I'll take the blame if you take me home now
Cuz there's no place left for trust in all this pain
And you know when it rains in this town I get washed away
Without a sound
So pin my wings down

If it's over
If it's over now

Pin your wings down
if it's over now
Pin your wings down
just take a chance somehow

All the words that we have to say
They don't leave when the moment comes
We know we have to wait
As the days go on and the places fade away
to dirt and to dust, it all fades away

And the waiting is the hardest thing to take
In a moment more before we break

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away

And the shapes we want to see
Don't leave another piece that this puzzle needs

And the waiting is the hardest thing to take
In a moment more before we break

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away

And the waiting is the hardest thing to take
In a moment more before we break

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away (walk away)

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away (walk away)

Unfortunately not all of us have this luxury.

Such a simple song, 2 verses, 1 pre-chorus and a chorus. All about how problems as a whole will disappear sooner or later but not as and when you want it to. In life everything has got to wait. But if you just have to let it go before the time comes, just walk away, brush it off. Sometimes I wish I could just do that. With life. Brush it off and walk away. But can I? Should I? Would I? I wish. But no, not yet. Maybe when all else fails and theres nothing left for me. So i guess I'll just have to wait.

My name is Casanova
I'm basically a man
I have the head of a wolf
The appetite of an entire land
This song is going out to the girls
You're all looking fucking fine
Baby spread those shaking legs
Because I'm feeling fucking hungry tonight
I like to feed on broken hearts
There ain't no taste like lovers falling apart

If I offer to buy you a drink
Trust me when I say it's non-alcoholic
You're no good to me if you can't even speak
I don't want you passing out when your sucking my dick
If I offer to buy you a drink
Trust me when I say it's non-alcoholic
I want you to wake up and remember my name
When you're washing my cum off your fucking face

My name is Casanova
I'm basically a man
I have the head of a wolf
The appetite of an entire land
This song is going out to the girls
You're all looking well buff
I'm sick of all this long term shit
I just wanna fuck

I like to feed on broken hearts
There ain't no taste like lovers falling apart

If I offer to buy you a drink
Trust me when I say it's non-alcoholic
You're no good to me if you can't even speak
I don't want you passing out when your sucking my dick
If I offer to buy you a drink
Trust me when I say it's non-alcoholic
I want you to wake up and remember my name
When you're washing my cum off your fucking face

My name is Casanova
I'm nothing but a beast
Girl the way you're shaking those hips
Has got me ready for a fucking feast
This song is going out to the girls
I want to feel your body close against mine
Why waste time with conversation
When we can fuck for the rest of our lives

The hardest thing you'll ever learn

Is just to LOVE and be LOVED in return

Hahahaha! Thy new song with bismuth. SO I'M BACK! I think? Well at least for now. Alright really random post but i might come back with something more content-filled when i decide to. So till then Au revoir Super girl.

i guess you havent been here for quite some time now.
and while i was studying my arse off. this place suddenly came into my mind.
and it might just be my place of solace to convey what i have wanted to say for the past 2 months or so. 

i know, we have not been hanging out like how we used to last time.
every single time after mass.either at Prata Cafe or at the foyer.
you waiting outside school for me to end and having lunch somewhere.
or those Saturday nights where we hang out beating my curfew
and of course you always holding my hand.so tight i'll never forget.
oh yeah. the Goodnight messages you always send to me at night.
but its long gone.you stopped sending.hardly do i ever see you around.
not even at mass.me sacrificing my time studying just to come to mass hoping to at least spend some time
with you but you hardly ever turn up. Where are the times when we sit together during mass? 
Are you so busy with your friends that you cant get some time out for me?
It doesn't concern my studying thing. i have time for both you and my studies.
but. you dont even call or message me anymore? 
it feels like as though you don't even exist in my life anymore.
have i just lost my boyfriend to his friend or maybe worse another girl?
well maybe its my imagination going off in a wrong way but sometimes i can't help it to think that you actually have 
something going on for another girl out there. i know i have no right in stopping you if you actually lose feelings for me totally for another girl. like how you did to Germ.
all i can say is that . i havent been good enough if not why the hell would you have a change of heart?

in another hours and some minutes time. it would be our 6 months. i remembered you saying you wanted to beat 
Jonas and Cheryl. haha. i hope it does happen because Ed, i really love you. the time apart from each other has 
somehow affected me. i try not to look or sound affected thats why you never received much calls or messages from me the last 2 months. i've been trying to occupy myself so that i won't think bout the distance between us.but somehow it doesn't work for me.pherf.

oh well i guess you dont really pop by here any longer so i guess theres no point dwelling on and i should just 
stop here. just needed a place to really let out whats been inside for so long. 
lastly, i love you. so much you will never know.

BABY! (: Yes! Happy fourth month to you too.

Just want you to know what being your boyfriend has been the best thing that has happened in my life. I really cherish every single moment and day with you wishing that our relationship could deepen and strengthen and we will never fall apart. Yeah we sure did have our ups and downs but i guess all of it is over now. Nothing is going to stop us from loving each other with all our heart. I have got to be the luckiest guy in the world to be your boyfriend and i will cherish you. Cheryl Tan you're beautiful and I love you with all my heart. (:

I love you Cinderella.

Ed.

oh yeah.
it's our 4th month already!
remember?

happy belated 4th month darling.
<3

Woman:
I've been living with a shadow over head
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past I just can't seem to move on

Man:
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

Together:
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it true without a way back into love
Oh oh

Woman:
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

Man:
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some directions
I'm open to your suggestion

Together:
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me decide again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

baby.you found me a way back into love.
i love you, ed.

Dear God,

I hope that you'll take charge of my relationship with Cheryl. Things have been more or less cleared up but somehow I do get those weird feelings coming back here and there and it does affect me. I hope that you'll take that away from me because I don't want it to make Cheryl angry or get affected by it too. I am pretty sure that I do want to marry her when we're old and mature enough to handle things better and I guess I wouldn't have the strength to do it without you. In this little message/prayer to you, I vow that I truly love her and I guess in the past I've said this many times but this time I know what i am doing. I've never ever been so serious and I really think that she's the one for me. You're the almighty father. the miracle worker, I need your grace and wisdom to handle this relationship. If right now I can't even handle this little setback that we had, how am I going to make things last in future. We both come from catholic background and we both believe in you. We met at your house and thus I would love to involve you in our relationship. So lord I come to you humbled and asking you to help me out in this one. I really do love her.

I hope god reads my livejournal and listens to my prayer.

School's such a bore. I'm currently in the library using the net and waiting for my consultation with Sue at 230! Time check 11.15. Holy shit. So life's been fine now that i guess everything is settling down. I hope. So anyway this is an absolute no content post. Just wanted to kill time. Till the next time cherios!

i miss my boyfriend.
how can i be sitting at home and him out there.
god knows where.
its so unfair.

Dear Edwin.
is that meant for me?

lovingly.
          cheryl.

hello!

thank you so so much for the cupcakes you bought me today!
they are so lovely that i can't bear to eat it!
my parents love em. :D

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee wow whee

i miss edwin yew.